Ramblings of a Neurodiverse Insomniac

00:56

Having a hard time falling asleep.

Just moved across the country, and I'm not adjusting well to the new time zone.

That, and the fact the someone close to me had surgery a few days ago, and I'm responsible for making sure the pain meds, due every four hours, get dispensed in the middle of the night, on time.

Factor in my all too frequent insomnia and my ADHD...I'm having a tough time drifting off tonight.

I made the mistake of checking social media after the midnight medicine dose. Heard back from someone I just met at a drum circle. There's potential for a beautiful friendship, but I have to be careful.

Maybe it's bad enough that I responded to a message at 00:15, but then instead of shutting off my brain and falling asleep, I started thinking about all of the questions I want to ask this person. I stop myself from rapid firing these questions over social media in the middle of the night, but just barely. I don't want the genuine curiosity of a neurodiverse insomniac to come off as simple insanity. We're still in that first impression stage, and my intensity can be overwhelming at times (so I'm told).

Floating around in this exhausted stream of consciousness is the memory of the dream that came in my interrupted sleep last night. A dream of spiritual significance, that I'm still trying to sort. I hope I return to that dream, for a bit more clarity. At the same time, I'm terrified to do so.

Then I think about all the partially written blog posts, the unedited videos for the website...will that guy REALLY advocate for that really sweet gig for me? Why didn't that school call me back and hire me to teach? Where did I pack my contact lenses?

 01:11

The alarm is set for the next pain med dose. Maybe now that some of these ideas are out of my head, I can get some sleep before it goes off...